Monday, January 21, 2008
This is ripped off ben's blog and it's frigging cool.. the thing that i hated most. ENJOY!
The Ghost Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Second Wave Shit
This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
The Brain Hemorrhage
Through Your Nose Shit Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit".You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit
The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
The Wet Cheeks Shit
Also known as the "Power Dump".That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
The Liquid Shit
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
The Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
The Aftershock Shit
This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.
The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
The Groaner
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
The Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
The Ranger
A shit which refuses to let go.It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
The Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
The Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
Shitzopherenia
Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
The Power Dump Shit
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Shit
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor.
The Spinal Tap Shit
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The Porridge Shit
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit
Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump".Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour.Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.
The Ghost Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Second Wave Shit
This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
The Brain Hemorrhage
Through Your Nose Shit Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit".You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit
The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
The Wet Cheeks Shit
Also known as the "Power Dump".That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
The Liquid Shit
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
The Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
The Aftershock Shit
This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.
The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
The Groaner
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
The Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
The Ranger
A shit which refuses to let go.It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
The Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
The Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
Shitzopherenia
Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
The Power Dump Shit
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Shit
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor.
The Spinal Tap Shit
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The Porridge Shit
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit
Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump".Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour.Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.
i want you back at Monday, January 21, 2008
0 on-lookers thought having you back was easy
0 on-lookers thought having you back was easy